(#34) Dear Diary, 28th June

The healthy human mind does not
Doubt itself, nor question itself,
To the breaking point where the host
Would rather face the grave than
Watch the sun rise over the horizon again.

The passing showers have cracked my smiles
And I cannot last another day of
Rain, then sun, repeatedly-
My skin weathers away,
I feel sick.

A week. The bitter taste of
What should have been sweet,
If only he chose to spend his thoughts
On responsibilities, not separate demands.
It is now over, a week, a representation of a year
Compressed into a dull wooden box-
Keeping in it the dead
Memories.

A spirit, a girl, like an alcohol,
Drown me, make me high but
I wake up every morning to the reality
That you will never be mine, girl.
Unless the tides turn themselves.
The waves will only drive sailors seasick.
I don't want the salt nor sand on my skin,
Your fragments rest on my heart and
They sink me like a prisoner,
Cast iron chain, lead weight.

The skies used to appear bright.
There is no silver lining, no.
Con artist, I have been mislead once again.
Ahead of me lies a shadowed path,
I cannot see anything ahead of me.
I am waiting to stumble, fall, be hurt.
My doubt places my heart in a pressure chamber-

I am too tired to fight back.

(Haiku #5) June Holidays

fruit salad, a bowl
bright-red, chequered picnic mat
under the bright sun

(Haiku #4) Broken

dark night, candle light
a broken heart, a winter
cold, a lonely soul

(#33) Fatigue

A muffled boom, you hear it
In the corner of your spaced mind-
Everything remains spun in a blur,
You feel like a soldier, jolted awake
By the explosion of an artillery shell
That hit the far left corner of your bed.

There was no alarm bell, no,
Where were you? Can you remember anything?
The clouds remain condensed in your mind,
A daze, emotionless, the sky just dark and silent.
You're up early, surprisingly, just way too e...

Snap, hello?
A stir in your cold brain
Creates a whir in your senses.
You cannot feel your body,
You feel rather detached, don't you think
Everything seems so foreign?
What's that you say? I cannot seem
To process anything. My mind has turned to ice.

The mattress, suddenly
Does not want to play host to you.
You feel uncomfortable, yet you feel so heavy-
To move your sack of flesh, too lethargic.
Fight back, kick about under the covers,
Let every memory in your head swirl up the vortex
As you struggle to fall back into sleep.
Your body aches, your heart
Feels so frustrated-
Exhaustion, leave me alone! But
Why won't my body let me have more slee--

--Brrrrrrrrrrriiiiiingg.

(#32) Why Should I?

A drink in hand,
Ice chilled, just like your mood-
There's no reason why anything should bother you
At this moment in time. After all,
As seconds tick by, with every boom
From the speakers overhead, all you really
Want to do as a teen is to have
Fun, friends. It's my life after all.
I'm my government, not you.

That's the point, isn't it?
To enjoy yourself, whilst you've got everything.
Why work hard all your life? It's only a hundred years
At most, unless you're lucky.
I've nothing to lose when I spend my days, just entertainment-
Wait, that's not true. Think,

There's something intangible in the pocket
Of your denim shorts, girl.
It's iridescent, but you won't notice it whilst its
Tucked away. Let's examine it, hold it.
It is powerful-
If I told you, this sitting in the palm of your hand
Could change the world,
Would you bin it?

It's only a hundred years
At most, if you're lucky.
Cloud nine isn't solid ground,
You'll fall through it someday, and
It will hurt when you hit the earth.

Within every single second of our lives,
The earth moves, people move, the world is always alive.
Things are changing, even as we sleep.
I want to open my eyes to everything,
Watch each sheet of the newspaper print itself,
Speak to tons of people around me,
Be a star, of course I could.
Why, I won't waste anymore time!


To Americano Stranger
I hope this makes a difference.
Thanks for the request - It's my first time writing a request!

(#31) Person X

You're always that missing person.
I'm never complete because of you.
I hate you, because of you,
I can never be fully happy-
I'm shattered, inside.

I wish not to be hurt by anymore of this.
These words are like shrapnel that
Tear my insides as I live.
I refuse more of it, but if I bottle it up
It will only haunt me.

Mother repeats it. I cannot forget how-
He was six, a boy of six, six
And you left him without a word,
No "Call me at ___________."
No "I'm safe, don't worry."

Nothing, nothing.
I searched in the darkness
For the rope out.
I fought, your boy fought and struggled.
His wounds were unnecessary-

They make him stronger but they still
Hurt him, deep inside.
I'll cry alone, a child of seventeen,
Nobody should share this pain.
I cannot afford to let mother know

Her pillar has crumbled.
The boy she raised,
Sacrificed, taught, protected, respects-
Cries himself to sleep on the breaking midnight,
Father's day.

I am torn numb, I will not fight back this year
Any longer. I will succumb to my emotions,
I shall expose my weaknesses for a night. Sigh,
If only my tears could soften his heart through-
Daddy, my daddy, just where were you?

(#30) Love, Hate: 575

I can't possibly
Stop thinking of you, my girl.
Your presence kills me.

Silence, I will not
Choose to hold back my screaming
Voice any longer.

Listen to me now,
Just two more, just another
Two more things to say.

You, let go of her-
I'll not fight with you, I see
No reason to give

Her to you either,
For as much as you want her,
You cannot provide

For her wants and needs-
Definitely less than me.
So back down, yes you.

And you, my sweet gift.
See what lies ahead of you-
It should be my heart.

(#29) Faithfulness

It does not take much
From you, growing girl
Of fourteen, black flowing hair,
You have so much potential
To become more than you expect.

Your words are clear,
They come from deep within the heart,
Words that only your life will feed you with.
They strike with the complexity of logic,
Yet put into the simplest expression-
They were everything I needed.

A solid pillar,
Too much to expect from a girl like you?
I beg to forgive. Your actions tripped my mind
And taught me a lesson,
Never to underestimate you.

Always remember, little girl,
Let your mind always stay focused.
Do not let your paradigms and reflections
Be swayed by the words of anyone.
You are made for a reason,
Let no one tarnish your identity.

I will watch you grow up, have no fear.
Enjoy your youth, you deserve it.
Your life, heart, mind, soul, everything,
You will see them gradually shine bright.

Always be a leader, a friend to others,
Just as you are to me.
Just as how only the pencil can choose to follow
The edge of a ruler,

Listen to your heart,
And let no one tell you
How you should live your life.
Always live up to your name, girl.
Your life is valued,
And though many people do not see it,
There is a star in the sky that represents you.

Listen to the young-
Their uncluttered minds see further, clearer,
Into the truth behind out lives
Than anyone else can.



For faith, always remain happy,
never stray from who you already are.

(#28) You, Shrapnel

The pain I feel is your creation-
Why do you have to
Be this way?

The things you do
To me,
The way you toss my heart

About, I just cannot
Have more of the stinging
Pain inside me.

I want to know the
Things you do not
Tell me,

So I can live
According to your
Book.

I love you so much
It hurts.
The arrow in my flesh

Was shot for you.
I love what hurts
Me so much.

I do not like
Pain, I just wish you would
Love me too.

Strip me,
Hit me,
Shout at me,

Do what you want to
My body
I do not care, for

My heart and soul wants you
To know that
No matter how you treat me,

I still love you so
And I wish you could
Feel the same way too.

(#27) Fire And Ice

Strike deep
With every word you say-
That is exactly what you do to me.
Your attraction is overwhelming,

It plays with my mind, you know,
Just the strings you pull
To control the puppet in my heart.
A pull, a tug.

With every smile, pout,
You toss my soul on a rough ocean
And I stay afloat, swallowing water just because
I love to take care of you.

I spend so much of my time thinking
About you, what pieces to play
To get you closer and
Closer to me-

Should I take you out on a date?
Kiss you under the stars?
Should I shower you with flowers and gifts,
Will you like that too?

I love you so much, I will not
Hesitate the chase for your heart.
Do not hold it back- wait,
Who is that boy you are talking to?

Yes, him. I merely took my eyes off you
For a blink.

Your smile is poison, his smile cuts
Deeper than any knife can.
Your heart, I will not admit that
You look like you have forgotten me.

Suddenly, I am alone,
Winter returns to my quarters.
You disappear, the both of you.
I don't want to know what

You are doing with him.
I wish I could swallow it
But I'm choking, trying.
Why, why won't you see

The things I do for you
Just to make your life smooth.
I shatter myself behind your back
And lay the pieces over patches

Of darkness and rainy days
So you won't feel the rough road,
Or the searing heat on your feet,
Or the cold in the air.

My work-
It effaces in the wind with
Every expression and word you
Say to him.

It makes me feel so neglected-
I can't give you every materialistic object
In this world. What flowers or chocolates daily,
But I can give you a loving heart that cares

For you, and with you. I am that heart.
Can he do that for you? Will he?
Can he sacrifice himself so much for you?
I will. I promise I will.

More than anything in this world,
I just wish you would open your eyes, dear,
And shut your heart out to everybody,
But me.

It hurts to love you in times like this,
But I still do.


Glass will shatter under fire and ice, but not me.

(#26) A Midnight Sleep

Draw the curtains, I bid farewell
To the fading moonlight behind the clouds.
Oh, the fickle stars for the night,
I have to say goodbye.

Let my vision faint dark-
When the lights go out in my mind,
A sea of sounds swirl around me.
The little whir of the streets outside,
Of tired people in their cars,
And loved ones waiting in bed.

I suddenly see everything,
Headlights, bumper lights, traffic lights, street lamps,
Brilliant colours, I couldn't possibly name all-
Bright shades of red, green, yellow,
White, neon streaks-
The nighttime lights, they fill my head.
I catch the streams of light with my hands
And they sparkle like fairies on a palette.
A glass chime plays in the corner of my mind.

Fireworks, fireworks on the night sky,
I can feel it inside me.
I have the ticket to the park where
I could light a candle and paint the stars
With my fingers, it doesn't matter how or why,
Everything will fall into place nicely tonight.

I know just where to run,
This forest- I've never been here before, but
The dark green foliage will shelter you,
The soft ground will spring at your feet.
Keep running, I will take you by the hand
And just keep going, the cool air will
Float through your long brown hair.

Here is the apex. Look down-
The detail is amazing, I painted it all by hand.
The night sky is filled with dashes of light.
Sit down on the grass, its sweet smell
Fills the world around us.
I look at you, oh,

Draw in closer dear.
I want to write the story from here-
This is the moment my heart dreams for.
But our time in this place is short,
For its only in my midnight's sleep-

We lean in and kiss softly,
Before the sun rises and burns open my eyes.

(Haiku #3) Autumn Colours

still crimson waters
floating red leaves of autumn
sailing down the lake

(#25) Without Something Special

There is just something missing-

Like a three-leaf clover,
Like a saucer and tea,
Like a pink box of chocolates,

Without a recipient,

Like a ring-less finger,
Like a scentless bouquet,
Like a beautiful chapel,

Without a loving vow,

Like a proposal left unsaid,
Like a pendant-less necklace,
Like a pair of cold lips,

Without a warming touch,

Like my eyes in the day,
Like my heart in the evening,
Like my arms at night,

Without you.

(Haiku #2) Cold Winds

frost on cold winter
roofs, a whipped wind steals the warmth
beneath grey fur coats

(Haiku #1) Love In Summer

kiss, under summer
sunsets till blazing clouds greet
the intimate night


My first haiku!
Give me comments or tips on it!