(#31) Person X

You're always that missing person.
I'm never complete because of you.
I hate you, because of you,
I can never be fully happy-
I'm shattered, inside.

I wish not to be hurt by anymore of this.
These words are like shrapnel that
Tear my insides as I live.
I refuse more of it, but if I bottle it up
It will only haunt me.

Mother repeats it. I cannot forget how-
He was six, a boy of six, six
And you left him without a word,
No "Call me at ___________."
No "I'm safe, don't worry."

Nothing, nothing.
I searched in the darkness
For the rope out.
I fought, your boy fought and struggled.
His wounds were unnecessary-

They make him stronger but they still
Hurt him, deep inside.
I'll cry alone, a child of seventeen,
Nobody should share this pain.
I cannot afford to let mother know

Her pillar has crumbled.
The boy she raised,
Sacrificed, taught, protected, respects-
Cries himself to sleep on the breaking midnight,
Father's day.

I am torn numb, I will not fight back this year
Any longer. I will succumb to my emotions,
I shall expose my weaknesses for a night. Sigh,
If only my tears could soften his heart through-
Daddy, my daddy, just where were you?