(#49) Blue

With every wave crashing onto textured sand,
A cast iron chain breaks links-
The ebb and flow pulls and detaches

Prison walls of stone and
Problems within them, erode,
Nature tears and shreds them apart.

Let every peak break the cold grey rocks
Every accompanying trough recede with
A spray of foam, and tranquility in its retreat.

The cycle is medicinal, every crash and sweep
Of the roaring waves a pair of wings-
They will patch emotions with needle and thread,

Lift and exfiltrate all that is torn and dead inside, fly
Swift fingers, to mend the listener's disparity,
The handiwork of the evening shore,

A purple sunset calls to the retiring tide to relax.
As my mind wanders far away, a dimension,
Where ease of heart is due, butter

The wounds within the body with peace-
And slumber will swallow the sea.



Written at the moment,
a spontaneous composition without halting to think.
Inspired by my stressed heart
and the sound of water in the night.

(#48) None Are Birds

There, this is the world:

Beside you are the cows, the buffalo,
Toiling hard, do they know?
The occasional bull, trudging.
A slaughter house, the end point,
The pigs, those naive sybarites,
The horses running around,
Aimlessly, do they know?
Unblemished sheep, their white wool
Stolen, no questions, no resistance.
The loyal sheep dog, constructing borders,
Creating friction for the workspace.
So much unnecessary order, does it know?
A daily cycle, routine slog.
All prayers for the farmer,
Does he even care?

There, this is the world.
None are birds.

(#47) The Classroom

Slam, the door shuts, out erupts
A class of noise, an audacious sound.
The gibberish and murmuring fills,
Increasing in volume, light chuckles
Decorating the shouts and echoes.

Mental walls, fortified by the train of
Careless, mindless teenage conversations-
My attention to work notes makes me a stranger
To the prattle and gossip of skivers, who's
Pens twirl unproductively between skillful fingers.

The chirping of relaxed youths, shirking the
Task at hand, their voices like balloons
Rising into the ceiling above, but nonetheless,
Every word said is marked by a practiced,
Watchful eye for the return of Teacher.

A sharp click of the door-handle
An angled turn, a swift swing that displaces the
Whooshing wind that whispers into the abrupt quiet-
A library swallows up the market place.
Tiny voices conclude their exchange and fade out.

Ack-ack! Coughing, clearing throats, a
Shuffle of papers replace the void silence.
The teacher places a stack of warm
Fresh copied sheets on the rectangle,
Large, special desk for one.

Here's where it all restarts, now emerges-
Diligent writing, focused discussions,
Quirky comments, intelligent humour-
The cycle repeats at every opportune moment,
Every second of it becomes a memory we keep,

And reminisce at graduation.

(#46) Trauma Response From The Restricted Past

Flash tundra, emerge, my knees buckle,
Losing balance, my heart's veins tangle up,
The mind trips over the frost covered plains
The gravity within is no longer stable.

The ground shakes violently,
The snow cuts deep into the skin
The vertebrate is stung by frostbites-
Cripples the entire structure of the

Host, those words are kryptonite
They are poison, they are glass shards
They are the ones that swallow colour
From the world, they are tormenting

The ground I walk are laden with trip mines,
My curious mind will take my feet to the
Kill, my eyes did not scan the ground, not until
I heard the wire tug, the pin's chime, the clicks.

If only the shards and blast were fatal-
They are not, they penetrate deep within the heart,
And mind, and with every beat, it slices me alive-
Flesh like chilled meat strips at the butchers'.

I cannot see it any more, the emergency bell
Sounds an alarm through the night
That no one will hear, for the
Entire dimension has frozen over.

Amongst the crystals and snow,
The fear, the black and the grey,
Stands I who cries out into the bitter gale,
"I loved you so much, I smiled as you murdered me."

(#45) The End In Mind

There is this narrow path
On a large sheet of white paper.
The paper has an unknown dimension.
Drawings will appear on it.

Seventeen strokes for time
The path winds about the problems-
Eighteen walls, every mason builds
Two each, hard sand and stone, just to

Injure me when I pass between them.
One traveler, hundreds of exchanges
Two with the black market, the devil
Three with the friend's friend,

Both of which never I understood-
Though one clearly was intimidating
And the other, completely undirected.
My pockets are spent empty and in my collection,

All that is unsatisfactory. In fact,
Nobody knows why the paper exists
Nor who holds the pen sketching aimlessly on it.
We will just keep walking, drifting,

Creating thoughts to justify
The reasons for the useless journey,
Trying to use determinism as an excuse to
Scribble your name all over the floor you walk-

Like an analgesic, in hope that people will know the
Letters to carve on the tombstone when
You, the departed unknown individual
Perish from the inevitable disease of death.

I refuse to veil the truth
That we exist to expire.

(#44) Desperation

Solemn chambers of
Procrastination, over-confidence
Seeping from every pore on your skin
The sands of time tip the scales of possibility.

This cannot breed-
The virus, when unchecked gradually
Leads the host to retardation, and
When goals close in, the soul

Remains unprepared,
Panic overtakes the mind, a brooding
Concoction of frustration, stress and confusion.
That demon will make you drink it.

The days past were let slip,
The jail guard with no vigilance nor
Discipline, the hours escaped free
From the bars of relaxed fingers and the body.

No more, no more will the rain clouds
Drench my clothes further-
They are already soaked through, regretful.
I can pray for the lightning to strike me hard

To teach me a lesson,
I could run hard for the week ahead
And catch the falling pieces of hope
To render some form of salvation for myself.

(#43) A Farm Day

The first burst of light emerges over the
Horizon of the yellow burning sun.
The day breaks, the mist lifts from
The sweet smelling grass down the hill-
Pulling the cosy dew blanket off every sunrise.

The square gold patchwork, like gold-leaf
Stands out brightly on the quilt of Mother's garden
The cleared out land burns a rust shade as the dust
Pulls west into the haystack with the white clouds overhead.
The cock on the wind vane swings with the changing drafts.

He will have a short breakfast, just barely enough-
For he needs to be out early in the sun
To take the cash cows to the fields,
To get his golden eggs from the coop,
To have his three bags full.

The boy will tend to the sheep and cows,
The dog maintains the order as he
Ponders in the meadows-
The days get colder and colder
Father must begin preparing hay.

The tractor's engine guns to a quiet by sunset,
The great orange hue floods over the
Windmill, roofs and dirt path. The cottage lights
Create shadows on the ground
As dinner is served, well earned.

By the strike of nine, the town gathers.
The animals rest in their stalls, fences latched.
The men play cards by the fire, they talk of harvest.
The women tell the children stories while sewing,
The youths, chasing skirts and charisma in the night.

Finally, as bed calls for night's tranquility,
At the faintly-red barn roof where the
Pale white moonlight feeds on the
Colours of the Earth from our eyes
The day is not over for one-

The watchful farmer with hunting gun,
Oil lamp, a vigil sentry, prowling about
Peering the night fog for wolf or crook-
He will not let his efforts go to waste, even
The scarecrow haunts his tired, suspicious mind.


For Joy, who wants this done so badly,
I hope your happiness surpasses my days of effort on this.

(#1) A Short Story

Life,
If I gave life a metaphor,
It wouldn't be a thick, thick book,
It wouldn't be fairytale nor fancy,
They just don't fit all the time, you know?
If I gave life a metaphor,
It would be a short, short story,
One bursting with energy
To the last period on the last page.

Why? Say, for example,
Little boy went to school,
Eyes brimming with the glance-at-everything
Curious stare.
Bright green shirt, dark blue shorts,
His mother sewed the baseball cap
The crown on his innocent head -
The only child in the family.
He was five, then,
Maybe six, in a few months time
And he had a knack for trying to reach for things
Especially those hard to reach.
Possibly a good sign,
The boy just wants to grow tall.
Like his father, or taller.

School was going fine, as always, to the boy
Who's always a few lessons ahead.
As revision ate away his breaktime,
He didn't mind, he loved his books.
Jumping grades would be no worry,
For the clever boy with a bright future ahead.
Mom was an Oxford graduate,
Dad owned the city's largest business,
The little boy's life was safe,
Secure.

Little boy saw a pretty blue bird,
On the fourth floor of Math class,
Perched on the window sill's edge
With a beauty so quiet and intimate.
Curiousity killed the cat,
He stood on a high stool and
Stretched out an arm out to reach for
His death.

The bird had flown out of arm's reach.
It would rather take another's life
To preserve its own, see.

As life spilled out
From beneath his little crown,
The cap turned a shade of ruby -
Just like the value of his life.
His pages flip faster,
The story reaching the end
Sooner than anyone would have wanted it to.
Sirens wailed,
Mother was crying on Dad's shoulder,
They rushed little boy to hospital.
On the first floor they found the body,
At the window sill they found an overturned chair,
Just four floors above the
Climax of his story.

When little boy lived, the pages burst with energy.
When little boy fell, he penned his life down.
To the last period on the last page[.]



After everything, looking back,
It's been such a journey, writing and experiencing life.

Here's the first poem I've ever written,
You decide how much my works have changed!

(#42) Beast, Husband, Man

I will cloak my heart to have a woman
Like you, just you, I prepared the lines to say.
I will fix my eyes on you alone, staring
To make you feel secure, as part of the plan.
I will mint my breath to make my
Promises sweet, then a kiss.
I will seduce you until you say yes
To marry the black figure of me.

I have bought us a house, as planned.
Within lies a bed, white linen,
All laid out, ready. That way my ejaculate
Will blend into the sheets, no one can tell
It was me, but your blood is red. Scrub at the
Coagulated stains made after the first few nights if you
Should so wish to. It was your body's discharge after all,
It is your responsibility. But I will not say that to you,

It is for myself alone to know. That was part of the plan.
I will carry you home in my arms and whisper
Meaningless phrases that you will enjoy.
Welcome to our regal abode, love.
It is my lair, my abattoir. Our abattoir-
I bear my prized hunt on a piggy-back ride about the place
Before embracing, and she would not know just
How eager I desire pleasure from this naive victim.

When you lay yourself on the altar naked, I will
Bring the sacrificial weapon, it will take a part of you.
You sharpen the knife with your fingers, so innocently
It is a painful blade, it will draw blood and fluid, but you
Will act so pleased, because that was my plan
As I thrust the dagger repeatedly between your legs, you will
Scream, that is what I want to hear from you, as
The smell of iron from your bleeding canal fills the air.

I will sleep well, I have nothing to care about.
Adrenaline pumping through my veins drowns your
Silly voice, telling me how much you liked all of it. I am not
Interested to hear. You are only here to be
My night whore and day servant.
For the rest of our lives, till death do us part,
You will know me as Master, but you will
Call me your ridiculous sweet names.

All shall go as planned. From proposal lies
To everyday conversations. I have scripted them all.
My deception and desires run through my veins,
I am a hungry animal, we all are, but you will not know that.
Your father will be concerned about you but with my power,
He will send his unblemished lamb to slaughterhouse,
Have his daughter's body marred by fluids and hits alike.
Every one of your friends will see you walk down that aisle,
Jealous- They will not know that is the last of you they see.

Like fresh raw meat going down a factory belt,
Like a guiltless prisoner walking the rows to unfair trial,
You will walk to join my side and say "I do" so willingly.
The church bells will sound, the death knell it brings,
The exchange of rings, the passing of love's beauty-

This was all part of my plan, but you will not know that.
It is for myself alone to know.

(#41) Defiant Teenager, Ab Extra Speculatio

Call out the name with the
Handful of food and it will
Open its palm for you.
It will not struggle though
You thrash about, rip off
Flesh chunks from the
Provider's fingers, swallow it
Whole, they will let you
Have it, you do not realise
How privileged a life you have-

The two lambs slave themselves
For your existence, every single
Strand of hair on your body was
Bought with sweat, every minute
You walk the earth, they pay for
Your body with their bread-
The two could have been full at the table,
They even bought you shoes as you
Trample the garden flowers, play in the rain, bully,
They will forgive you nevertheless, child.

As you fling yourself onto
The busy road, without a care,
Remember, that body
You wear is not yours to abuse.
The blood you spend in self-mutilation
Was paid for with invaluable
Rubies and diamonds, I'd like to see you clear
Such a debt on your account-
The glass jar you encase your arrogant heart in
Was bought and made by the two souls you overlook.

Child, someday you will participate in
The cycle of parenthood. I will not be there
To watch you realise your parents' past plight
When your children enroll as the leading actors
To the play you wrote based on your childhood.
Learn, do not let pain be your eye-opener
When simple words can amount to the same effect.

(#40) The Coquette

Say you don't like anybody else,
Here's the book, swear by it.
Don't lie to me, you know it
Will shatter me inside.

You, insensitive, it makes little
Difference to me anymore, the
Words you say, they once used to toss
My feelings about in a salad bowl,

Or on a dark ocean, those days
Have long passed, gone-
For the truth of time has surfaced,
And I was right from the beginning.

Pull off the cloak, tell me everything
Real, sift out the lies from fact now, wait
Your voice, no, don't bother.
I would rather believe myself, you play

Strong, manipulative.
That's exactly what it is,
There's two, three of us here, I heed
Take your pick then, go excited-

They may like being a part of your garden
During your seasons of amorous harvest-
Count me out, I will no longer be
Part of your little pick-and-choose.

The nights call and scare me with thoughts,
They have bred a stronger body-
I will not let them down, watch me
Stand tall on the rock that tripped my heart.

(#39) A Reason To Live

For every tear in your skin,
You will heal it, you will
Patch up every injury
The world can possibly damage
You with, and a scar will remind you
Not to play the fool twice.

Like how the cat licks its
Wounds for hours, absorbed-
There is no shame for the pained
To spend more time mending
Our scratched limbs alone
When we fall down, stumble

On the street.
Every fight is your own fight,
Nobody should force you to
Take up their stances.
You have the right to say
"No." - Remember.

There is no issue in the brunt,
But only in the surrender.
Within you lies a diamond-
You will not see it in black, coal
Unless you take the pressure.
Never back down, be it where

The path crushes your bones
Or breaks your spirit, let it be.
Deal with every small step,
One, another, another-
The long distances will cover
Themselves in time, trust it.

Every tear you shed, every moment
You feel like breaking, that drop from
Your eyes, that which shines in the light
Is the product of your work. It will comfort
You, or be your celebration, for that diamond is
Your produce, you earned it.

For every tear in your eye,
You earned it, you will
Grow stronger, and through
The endless emotional path, you will find
Someone who will dab your tears, lessons, and
Narrate your account as you pen a history.



For Stephanie,
Here's a reason to stand back up after every fall.

Thanks for this request,
I hope it means something to you as much as it does to me.

(#38) Leave Me Alone

Stir the ghosts of past
I've woken them up
And they revisit, angry

Choked, I cannot breathe
Stubborn stain, get off me
It is not a blood smear

Spare me, you demons
I have had enough suffering
Loving you, then a dream

Your exit was murder
Your friend tortured my mind
It was all planned from the beginning

Selfish, a lesson learnt
Never to give your full heart
To an insatiable beast

It will only continue to
Suck every living memory
From your soul

My eyes only pupils
You have blinded my heart
I scream in your withdrawal

(#37) Leaving, Room #07-02

Waterfall, waterfall, memories
Smash it, break the brittle glass
Like an emergency, but neither emerging nor
Desperate, pass me the hammer now,
I want to see the shards fall myself.

Curses, every shard will be sharp
It will cut and scratch my face as I
Shatter the images, this ghastly
Haunting which I will not partake of
Ever again. Let the fragments

Pierce my skin, let it tear me up
I couldn't care less about it anymore,
I will see this hall of mirrors in pieces
Where I will no longer see myself in
Any corner of this room.

These gifts you have given me, let
Me put them to the fire, burn hot
Till it all becomes ashes, and blow it
All over the room, let it fall on the
Broken memories, I do not want it

Remembered, any longer.
All your faces, white like ghosts
Hiding behind the masks in which
You cheat from, your fringe always
Hid your deceiving eyes.

I will not go away quietly, I will
See this entire room turned into a mess.
Unrecognisable, I will make that happen,
I must tear down every single memory
For good riddance. My sand timer

Still pours like the dark red that chokes
My mind with fuel to my nightmares.
As the clock drains the life out of me
Your figures gradually fade to a blur but
The little pieces of silver glass that reflect

Draws a cold breath, I am the
Winter, nothing will survive the punishment
Of my frozen heart. I cannot give love to anyone
Else until I remove you from my temple.
Your candle will never light again-

I don't wish to light it either. A torch, you were,
What deceit, liar. You were nothing but a
Frosted glass candle, you never lit up,
I wish I saw through you-
Your flower blades, your fake jewelry,

Those sweet words were but poisoned daggers
In the clouds, you lined them with
Silver barbs, they looked so pretty
But lethal, I played the fool
To everything. You were cancer to my flesh.

All you ghosts, never will I set foot
In this hall ever again, let the dust clouds settle.
These mirror frames will lie empty, glass
Powder and ruins shall gash whoever dares
Make amendments to my closure.

Prepare the mop and rags, from now on
I will wipe up the blood on the streets
That coagulated from the holes in my
Left-side breast. These pale statues of
Remembrance will never bathe in my pain again.

(#36) Only You Know

Angel, I'll die to have you whisper the
Little things I want to hear, things only
You can say to capture me, hold me
Spellbound-breath, you enthrall me-
Secretly, as the poet keeps your name safe, he
Always wants you by his side, just in love.

Charm me, spin my feelings into a mess, my
Heart's in a disarray, I feel helpless around you.
Oh my dear girl, I miss you so much!
What must I do to have you?


For you,
The one who's name begins with A.

(Haiku #12) Me And Literature

watch me think at work,
pen stanzas, words sparkling like
kaleidoscope shapes.

written for the new haiku page:
Pen Flow, Paper Seeping,
http://cornpeasandcarrots.tumblr.com/

(#35) Lovesick Letter, Struggle.

It's so hard to think
With you around, dear
Girl, angel, I choke on my
Feelings, just so immense.

I can't do anything without your voice-
Help me swallow the thoughts of
You that suffocate me.

Throat-squeezed, pressed-heart,
I feel so sick deep inside me
And I cannot live without your
Smile, pout- So cute.
I don't want to play your

Game of tug-of-war any longer,
My emotions are tossed about so much
Yet I refuse to pull hard on the rope,
Throw you over the line to my side
Because I'm so afraid it'll hurt you.

I wish you'd be mine, I wish you'd drop the rope
And come over, be mine, I don't ask for more
Than just everything you are to me.

I'll purse my lips and clench my
Chest and endure this drowning
In patience, I'll wait for you to say
Yes. There is no script in love
And I always stumble for the right words
To say to you, my dear girl.

The only line I know for sure without
Memorising is "I love you, so much dear."
But I'll never dare say it until just
The day my name subtly etches itself on
Your delicate heart.

This boy just wants your body and heart
He'll do anything to have you
Smile, feel loved, be cared for.
His entire mind trembles and stirs-
I'll die, white, if your lips touch mine now.
Love, love, my murderer, my pill.

(Haiku #10) Eight o' Clock

spring morning, window view-
stone road, the old milkman,
the young paper boy

(#3) She

She,

Beneath a black-brown cascading waterfall,
Two stars burning preciously-
Taking in the light of the world and
Holding it sacred within her mind,
Every moment she doesn't blink.

Selfish, she is though, or shy?
Knowing how beautiful they are,
She hides them,
Keeps them for herself to admire,
No man has ever gazed into them.
No man, not me either.
But suitors guess:
Do they infatuate?
Do they charm?
Could they be so empowering,
They seal lips together?
Could they have the basilisk's gaze?
Who knows?

Only she who holds them safe,
The mystery that rests above her nose.

(I believe someday, I will find out.)


I wrote this a long long time ago,
for someone who meant a lot to me.
I guess i didn't find out anyway, in the end!

(#34) Dear Diary, 28th June

The healthy human mind does not
Doubt itself, nor question itself,
To the breaking point where the host
Would rather face the grave than
Watch the sun rise over the horizon again.

The passing showers have cracked my smiles
And I cannot last another day of
Rain, then sun, repeatedly-
My skin weathers away,
I feel sick.

A week. The bitter taste of
What should have been sweet,
If only he chose to spend his thoughts
On responsibilities, not separate demands.
It is now over, a week, a representation of a year
Compressed into a dull wooden box-
Keeping in it the dead
Memories.

A spirit, a girl, like an alcohol,
Drown me, make me high but
I wake up every morning to the reality
That you will never be mine, girl.
Unless the tides turn themselves.
The waves will only drive sailors seasick.
I don't want the salt nor sand on my skin,
Your fragments rest on my heart and
They sink me like a prisoner,
Cast iron chain, lead weight.

The skies used to appear bright.
There is no silver lining, no.
Con artist, I have been mislead once again.
Ahead of me lies a shadowed path,
I cannot see anything ahead of me.
I am waiting to stumble, fall, be hurt.
My doubt places my heart in a pressure chamber-

I am too tired to fight back.

(Haiku #5) June Holidays

fruit salad, a bowl
bright-red, chequered picnic mat
under the bright sun

(Haiku #4) Broken

dark night, candle light
a broken heart, a winter
cold, a lonely soul

(#33) Fatigue

A muffled boom, you hear it
In the corner of your spaced mind-
Everything remains spun in a blur,
You feel like a soldier, jolted awake
By the explosion of an artillery shell
That hit the far left corner of your bed.

There was no alarm bell, no,
Where were you? Can you remember anything?
The clouds remain condensed in your mind,
A daze, emotionless, the sky just dark and silent.
You're up early, surprisingly, just way too e...

Snap, hello?
A stir in your cold brain
Creates a whir in your senses.
You cannot feel your body,
You feel rather detached, don't you think
Everything seems so foreign?
What's that you say? I cannot seem
To process anything. My mind has turned to ice.

The mattress, suddenly
Does not want to play host to you.
You feel uncomfortable, yet you feel so heavy-
To move your sack of flesh, too lethargic.
Fight back, kick about under the covers,
Let every memory in your head swirl up the vortex
As you struggle to fall back into sleep.
Your body aches, your heart
Feels so frustrated-
Exhaustion, leave me alone! But
Why won't my body let me have more slee--

--Brrrrrrrrrrriiiiiingg.

(#32) Why Should I?

A drink in hand,
Ice chilled, just like your mood-
There's no reason why anything should bother you
At this moment in time. After all,
As seconds tick by, with every boom
From the speakers overhead, all you really
Want to do as a teen is to have
Fun, friends. It's my life after all.
I'm my government, not you.

That's the point, isn't it?
To enjoy yourself, whilst you've got everything.
Why work hard all your life? It's only a hundred years
At most, unless you're lucky.
I've nothing to lose when I spend my days, just entertainment-
Wait, that's not true. Think,

There's something intangible in the pocket
Of your denim shorts, girl.
It's iridescent, but you won't notice it whilst its
Tucked away. Let's examine it, hold it.
It is powerful-
If I told you, this sitting in the palm of your hand
Could change the world,
Would you bin it?

It's only a hundred years
At most, if you're lucky.
Cloud nine isn't solid ground,
You'll fall through it someday, and
It will hurt when you hit the earth.

Within every single second of our lives,
The earth moves, people move, the world is always alive.
Things are changing, even as we sleep.
I want to open my eyes to everything,
Watch each sheet of the newspaper print itself,
Speak to tons of people around me,
Be a star, of course I could.
Why, I won't waste anymore time!


To Americano Stranger
I hope this makes a difference.
Thanks for the request - It's my first time writing a request!

(#31) Person X

You're always that missing person.
I'm never complete because of you.
I hate you, because of you,
I can never be fully happy-
I'm shattered, inside.

I wish not to be hurt by anymore of this.
These words are like shrapnel that
Tear my insides as I live.
I refuse more of it, but if I bottle it up
It will only haunt me.

Mother repeats it. I cannot forget how-
He was six, a boy of six, six
And you left him without a word,
No "Call me at ___________."
No "I'm safe, don't worry."

Nothing, nothing.
I searched in the darkness
For the rope out.
I fought, your boy fought and struggled.
His wounds were unnecessary-

They make him stronger but they still
Hurt him, deep inside.
I'll cry alone, a child of seventeen,
Nobody should share this pain.
I cannot afford to let mother know

Her pillar has crumbled.
The boy she raised,
Sacrificed, taught, protected, respects-
Cries himself to sleep on the breaking midnight,
Father's day.

I am torn numb, I will not fight back this year
Any longer. I will succumb to my emotions,
I shall expose my weaknesses for a night. Sigh,
If only my tears could soften his heart through-
Daddy, my daddy, just where were you?

(#30) Love, Hate: 575

I can't possibly
Stop thinking of you, my girl.
Your presence kills me.

Silence, I will not
Choose to hold back my screaming
Voice any longer.

Listen to me now,
Just two more, just another
Two more things to say.

You, let go of her-
I'll not fight with you, I see
No reason to give

Her to you either,
For as much as you want her,
You cannot provide

For her wants and needs-
Definitely less than me.
So back down, yes you.

And you, my sweet gift.
See what lies ahead of you-
It should be my heart.

(#29) Faithfulness

It does not take much
From you, growing girl
Of fourteen, black flowing hair,
You have so much potential
To become more than you expect.

Your words are clear,
They come from deep within the heart,
Words that only your life will feed you with.
They strike with the complexity of logic,
Yet put into the simplest expression-
They were everything I needed.

A solid pillar,
Too much to expect from a girl like you?
I beg to forgive. Your actions tripped my mind
And taught me a lesson,
Never to underestimate you.

Always remember, little girl,
Let your mind always stay focused.
Do not let your paradigms and reflections
Be swayed by the words of anyone.
You are made for a reason,
Let no one tarnish your identity.

I will watch you grow up, have no fear.
Enjoy your youth, you deserve it.
Your life, heart, mind, soul, everything,
You will see them gradually shine bright.

Always be a leader, a friend to others,
Just as you are to me.
Just as how only the pencil can choose to follow
The edge of a ruler,

Listen to your heart,
And let no one tell you
How you should live your life.
Always live up to your name, girl.
Your life is valued,
And though many people do not see it,
There is a star in the sky that represents you.

Listen to the young-
Their uncluttered minds see further, clearer,
Into the truth behind out lives
Than anyone else can.



For faith, always remain happy,
never stray from who you already are.

(#28) You, Shrapnel

The pain I feel is your creation-
Why do you have to
Be this way?

The things you do
To me,
The way you toss my heart

About, I just cannot
Have more of the stinging
Pain inside me.

I want to know the
Things you do not
Tell me,

So I can live
According to your
Book.

I love you so much
It hurts.
The arrow in my flesh

Was shot for you.
I love what hurts
Me so much.

I do not like
Pain, I just wish you would
Love me too.

Strip me,
Hit me,
Shout at me,

Do what you want to
My body
I do not care, for

My heart and soul wants you
To know that
No matter how you treat me,

I still love you so
And I wish you could
Feel the same way too.

(#27) Fire And Ice

Strike deep
With every word you say-
That is exactly what you do to me.
Your attraction is overwhelming,

It plays with my mind, you know,
Just the strings you pull
To control the puppet in my heart.
A pull, a tug.

With every smile, pout,
You toss my soul on a rough ocean
And I stay afloat, swallowing water just because
I love to take care of you.

I spend so much of my time thinking
About you, what pieces to play
To get you closer and
Closer to me-

Should I take you out on a date?
Kiss you under the stars?
Should I shower you with flowers and gifts,
Will you like that too?

I love you so much, I will not
Hesitate the chase for your heart.
Do not hold it back- wait,
Who is that boy you are talking to?

Yes, him. I merely took my eyes off you
For a blink.

Your smile is poison, his smile cuts
Deeper than any knife can.
Your heart, I will not admit that
You look like you have forgotten me.

Suddenly, I am alone,
Winter returns to my quarters.
You disappear, the both of you.
I don't want to know what

You are doing with him.
I wish I could swallow it
But I'm choking, trying.
Why, why won't you see

The things I do for you
Just to make your life smooth.
I shatter myself behind your back
And lay the pieces over patches

Of darkness and rainy days
So you won't feel the rough road,
Or the searing heat on your feet,
Or the cold in the air.

My work-
It effaces in the wind with
Every expression and word you
Say to him.

It makes me feel so neglected-
I can't give you every materialistic object
In this world. What flowers or chocolates daily,
But I can give you a loving heart that cares

For you, and with you. I am that heart.
Can he do that for you? Will he?
Can he sacrifice himself so much for you?
I will. I promise I will.

More than anything in this world,
I just wish you would open your eyes, dear,
And shut your heart out to everybody,
But me.

It hurts to love you in times like this,
But I still do.


Glass will shatter under fire and ice, but not me.

(#26) A Midnight Sleep

Draw the curtains, I bid farewell
To the fading moonlight behind the clouds.
Oh, the fickle stars for the night,
I have to say goodbye.

Let my vision faint dark-
When the lights go out in my mind,
A sea of sounds swirl around me.
The little whir of the streets outside,
Of tired people in their cars,
And loved ones waiting in bed.

I suddenly see everything,
Headlights, bumper lights, traffic lights, street lamps,
Brilliant colours, I couldn't possibly name all-
Bright shades of red, green, yellow,
White, neon streaks-
The nighttime lights, they fill my head.
I catch the streams of light with my hands
And they sparkle like fairies on a palette.
A glass chime plays in the corner of my mind.

Fireworks, fireworks on the night sky,
I can feel it inside me.
I have the ticket to the park where
I could light a candle and paint the stars
With my fingers, it doesn't matter how or why,
Everything will fall into place nicely tonight.

I know just where to run,
This forest- I've never been here before, but
The dark green foliage will shelter you,
The soft ground will spring at your feet.
Keep running, I will take you by the hand
And just keep going, the cool air will
Float through your long brown hair.

Here is the apex. Look down-
The detail is amazing, I painted it all by hand.
The night sky is filled with dashes of light.
Sit down on the grass, its sweet smell
Fills the world around us.
I look at you, oh,

Draw in closer dear.
I want to write the story from here-
This is the moment my heart dreams for.
But our time in this place is short,
For its only in my midnight's sleep-

We lean in and kiss softly,
Before the sun rises and burns open my eyes.

(Haiku #3) Autumn Colours

still crimson waters
floating red leaves of autumn
sailing down the lake

(#25) Without Something Special

There is just something missing-

Like a three-leaf clover,
Like a saucer and tea,
Like a pink box of chocolates,

Without a recipient,

Like a ring-less finger,
Like a scentless bouquet,
Like a beautiful chapel,

Without a loving vow,

Like a proposal left unsaid,
Like a pendant-less necklace,
Like a pair of cold lips,

Without a warming touch,

Like my eyes in the day,
Like my heart in the evening,
Like my arms at night,

Without you.

(Haiku #2) Cold Winds

frost on cold winter
roofs, a whipped wind steals the warmth
beneath grey fur coats

(Haiku #1) Love In Summer

kiss, under summer
sunsets till blazing clouds greet
the intimate night


My first haiku!
Give me comments or tips on it!

(#8) For You

I am a tree.
I may not be the most beautiful tree in the forest,
My leaves fade from green,
My bark splits and cracks,
My trunk and branches may not be the strongest,
But I can assure you, I still am a tree in this forest.

I may not be the biggest tree,
There will always be trees bigger than me,
Much bigger, and stronger, and greener,
But my branches are generous enough to allow just one bird,
To rest her tired wings on me every day and night.

The bird that lived on my branches was a beautiful bird,
Every time it spread its wings and flew,
I felt more than happy -
For I knew that I would always be rooted to the ground,
And I could never, ever taste the sky.

But that was okay with me,
Seeing my pretty bird glide the air freely
Was more than enough for me every day.

You can fly, you can keep flying,
You can fly away, far away.
You know deep inside,
I can never stop you from
Perching on another tree, far away from me.

When you fly so far away from me,
Where I can never see you,
I worry that out there,
It's a dangerous place -
Where you could be caught by hunters with guns or nets,
Placing traps with tempting things inside them to lure you,
Or tagged by scientists for study,
Or have your wings clipped off by pet-traders
Who will sell you to owners that put you into a cage
And I will never see you again.

When you fly so far away from me,
Where I can never see you,
I feel jealous knowing that
Anytime, you could be attracted by another tree,
With greener leaves and stronger branches,
And you rest on them instead of coming home to me,
Leaving me all alone.

Now that you're gone,
You've left to roam the sky by your own,
I feel empty and alone.
For I still am a tree,
Not the most perfect nor the best tree in the forest,
But I will always be here, rooted in the ground, waiting for you,
To return home to me.

Whenever your wings feel tired, or when the sky, or clouds turn dark,
Remember that there's always this tree -
Though not the best tree in the forest,
He'll shield you from the rain with every single leaf he has, though not many,
And he'll endure the rain, cold or sun,
Just to see you fly the next day.


Written for someone who was everything to me.
16th February, 2010
I stand on my own two feet now
In rain, shine and shelter.

(#24) Purple

You with the grey shoes,
Pink soles, yes you.
How did you walk so gently on,
Cute tippy-toes, oh so subtle,
Right into my heart?
No no, please, please do stay.

Purple, shimmery like diamonds,
It blocks your desirable figure, oh no-
Believe me, you do wear your clothes and that bag
On a precious gem wrapped in fine silk pulled taut.
Your pretty face, fair skin,
I find no words that can exact such a picture.

Honey, oh honey sweet,
Sweet like the lips, oh you melt me soft
When you smile, or chance me with poses-
Kiss-lips, sparkling eyes. I stumble for lines to say,
I forget my script, no, don't cut this scene!
I was going to ask if I could,

Could j-just, well,
Hold mine against them?

...pretty please, oh pretty please?

You with the blue heels,
Brown hair, yes you.
Stay here, always stay here,
Please don't ever walk out.
I'm outside your door, knocking,
Waiting for you to open your heart and say the words
I die a little everyday wishing to hear.

(#23) Reprimanding

Cut down what's unimportant!
Stop, now, or throw a face of regret.
Son, you must listen-
These words are your grease
To your face on the millstone.

One, do not let her hurt you!
You always seek the fire with your fingers
What a fool, I will not be here to
Save what shuts ears to instruction.
And refuse the float in the sea.

Two, do not constantly get distracted!
Your neck is not tightened by a cork,
Do not be choked by what you can swallow.
Push it down, do not play the host to
The infection, it will only hurt your throat.

Three, do not run blind!
You are not brainless.
Think before you step, for
I can lay you the stepping stones, but
You must look for them in the river.

Remember these words,
You write them out to embed shiny
Clear crystals in your enigmatic memory.
Sweep up the broken parts
They do not mean anything to you now

Bin them, throw them away now.
If you hesitate they will creep up your hand
And drink from your veins again.
You are not infinitely provident.
This cannot happen, no. You are busy enough.

You cannot afford to tangle yourself in a leash-
You cannot expect drugs to constantly be present
On a plate for you when you need it.
You addict, realise, your vices are those that hurt.
Leave them aside, the spotlight is on you.

(#22) I am

I am who I am-

Who I write myself to be
Is who I will be,
How I present myself to the world
Is what makes me,
What I do with my life
Is what becomes my history.

There is no lying to yourself.
You know who you are best
And no matter what others think of you,
You will only be you.
You do not ever need to pretend to be
Someone you do not wish to be.

This is your arm,
With that comes your hands-
They will do only your will.
Nobody else will command them but you.

This is your brain,
With that comes your paradigms
And no one will alter or fix them
But only yourself.

These are your legs,
They will carry you down the path
You want to walk.
They will run only when you want to and
Rest only when you tell them to stop.

You are your own composite.
You are unique, there will be no competition
For the look-a-like.
You wear the face of God.

Nobody will put you down-
You are the sole owner of yourself.

Only because I am who I am,
I have the right to call myself an individual.


To all who need strength, take heart.
Inspired by Alyssa.

(#21) Spoilt Girl, Ab Extra Speculatio

How do you live
With a face of plastic-
Rubber cloth appendages and heart,
Oh heart

It is almost inexistent
You keep it for yourself.
A pearl, an oyster
Nobody wants to pry you open either.

You have everything in the world, woman.
You do not feel the rain when it pours
You close your eyes to down, feathery pillows,
Artificial winds blow, you princess

Cow, you do not toil,
Bred for meat and marble.
You have not seen cruel pain,
The only thing you worry about

Is your own life-
And this world offers so much more.
Not a bed of roses,
We pick them by the thorns nonetheless.

Whine, whimper, cower, cry-
You, sixteen growing seven.
Open your eyes and stop
Collecting your tears in vials

For remembrance,
You sullen spoilt girl.
You useless soul, get up and work.
Trust fund baby, you have everything

Yet nothing real, child. All fool's gold,
You have yet to taste the world's poison
And shiver as it overwhelms your senses.
Banish the rainbows from your room ceiling.

Use your brain, not your tears.
Use your hand, not your eyes.
Use your ears, not your mouth.
Use your heart, not your demands.

Try, pray, try for goodness sake
To understand the world
Whilst you still are fed richly
Without a penny to worry about nor account.

Before the day you draw your own water
From the common well,
Learn to feel pain for the people you choke
Rather than your little discomfort from the

Pea under your mattress.

(#20) The Dream

Specks of random-
They tell me what I need to know.
Magically, metaphorically
I understand every line, every action
Like a divine instruction, a hint.

You were sitting there, the colours fading-
Oh dream's memory, do not slack now.
Your eyes were pearls and coins, no
I am not the boatman.
I took your bribe without you knowing and

Kiss, I daren't say I was the one
In my dream, on the lips -
Yours in rest I wish I felt magic.
I held silk in my hands and stroked it
Between my fingers. Strangely,

Your lips wore a plated mantle on its cold shoulder-
I didn't feel warm. The winter air crackled within my soul
I felt jolted by lightning. I felt uninvited
To make myself feel at home in your heart.
My feelings aside, your eyes spoke of a different tale.

You savoured hesitantly.
I want to know how you did. Why,
Why did I put my seal to the wax
And hold it tight till it hardened?
Beneath the envelope lies a barb-

I did not put it there but
You reply with a love letter.
The affectionate penmanship, the pink paper
Intoxicates and clouds my skies.
I want more of it but my mouth will not open.

What message, what sign?
The icy lips, the crush-call, the life,
Sender, you leave me a strong message.
I will be weary, but nonetheless,
Let my heart's flame thaw those lips of hers.

I still want them for my own, kill me.
The stars warn me; stay away.
Tell me though, why you in dream and not her.
Yes you with the sparkly eyes. Perhaps a hint-
An indirect message of my possible fate.

(#19) Your Intimidation

It should not take whole of your space
You must stand firm
And the elements will fall into place.

You left your hand at the fire
How could you not have felt it?
Now you suffer-

Has the burn drilled in deep enough?
She is not your providence
And when she shuts the flood gates

Your waters will disappear, mirage
Oh, now you realise you were fooled.
The dry land cracks like your stressed skin.

Are you thirsty, boy?
Come, drink, have as much wine as you want.
Maybe an apple, too? It is stained green.

Oh, no, no,
I cannot accept your kind offer.
You intimidate me

The stars above shake in silence
A vacuum, no one hears it
And I am a part of one such constellation.

Everybody is a star, said some famed motivator.
Sir, if everyone were a star, it's no longer special
It is time to anchor our ship in some solid.

I will not succumb to your call.
I am only a box with appendages.
You do not need the attention of me.

I am no chess player
You do not need to play with me.
Fine checkmate then, my game is over.

Now, exeunt.
And you too.
And you.

(#10) The Past Sea Of Everything

The sea of dark swallow her thoughts
Her lover a blur as she looks up from below
And she finds sanctuary within the black.

Leave me behind, leave me.
She won't come back
Like a fish released from a tank
Into the sea.
Dangerous it may be, the sea
Yet happier she is within.
The tank was her danger
Now she is free.

She finds her soul
And steals mine.
A heart she wears
For the heart she breaks.
Innocence she gained, leaving her lover.
Hurt, her door-gift.
That smile she hangs on her lips.
A murderer, cry with me.
A murderous smile.

My killer, my love.
I require to stop the pain.
A new love with her, should it bloom
Will numb my pains with more of it
But I am willing, no, am not willing
But I can try.
My tears form a river.
Shed more for sadness?
Negligible to the waters I created.
She will not swim in them.
She'd rather the sea of black
They give her joy.
Like spiting my providence
Biting the hand that fed her.
Soul-food. I kept none for myself.

She chucked me on the shelf
When the new toy-store opened.
Was I the old doll?
Or did I have such a black heart?

A life she has, happy.
Oh, the contrary for me.

(#7) Glass

Glass pane before the body,
Surrounded by the square borders that define it -
A window, the eye for communication
Where both onlooker and bystander can explore
Each other's personal space.

Irony engulfs this concept for the onlooker,
Trapped behind an invisible yet tangible barrier -
Unable to escape to the freedom of the world.
Yet the bystander has no limits to his life.

Irony engulfs this concept for the prisoner,
Though trapped behind windows and walls,
Finds freedom in the view beneath him,
For his soul escapes the prison,
And finds serenity in the place
The far-away-place.

Irony engulfs this concept for the soul,
Though free and unbounded,
Feels unwanted and alone
In the far-away-place.
The soul is trapped within itself,
A prisoner of solitude.

Irony engulfs this concept for both body and soul-
The windows could be opened
And a borrowed life returned to the earth.
Yet they refuse to do it, though rather eager.
The opportunity opened to them: be free
And they decline.

Ironic -
This pane of glass.
They both form escape routes for two different people.
One a window, the other a television.

(#15) Catharsis

The ice begins to melt away
The little streams, droplets, they craft
A sparkling silver mirror in the sun
The flowers paint the water flamboyantly.

The bright sky, where is your starting point?
Plain and simple, the monochromic wallpaper
Floods God's canvas-
There are no boundaries

When you no longer stare at the heavens through
An iron square
Suddenly the clouds look like cotton.
The breeze comforts my war-torn face,

The cool air, defibrillator
You bring a body to life once again.
Nobody told you to lie, and your foolery
Invokes a new reason for my existence.

The Dove circled above my room and gave me back a heart-

I am new again.

(#18) Fault Twice Shy

What is your next thought going to be?
Clear your mind, oh please.
A heart calls for a buoy
In every beat.

Your eyes form images that deceive you-
Every frame, every still, picture-perfect.
Throw them out, they are no use
A white cane would tell more truth.

Your precious blood is filled with specks of diamond
They file away at your soul. They scrape your heart
A disease, it eats you clean from the inside.
A bag of blood, they only want the stones.

The train just left your station-
There is no escape from rain-clouds now.
Your opiates begin to poison your waters sweet
Turmoil, crashing waves from tranquility

You must drink it all
It will flood your mind,
Take over your senses.
Soon, you will become nothing.

Do not fall victim to cloud and shade
No matter how pink the skies may be.
Do not succumb to the flower's temptation
They will hug you tight in bed and kill.

(#12) 18th April

Black waves, mind raping
Rush up my shore
Not a nice sight.

Coarse sand
Wave froth and
Ripped heart.

Swimmer, gulp
Its hard to drown
Wants to drown.

Composure, write
Message in a bottle
Don't bottle it up.

Impossible, I can't
Work at six
Prescribe me, pharmacy.

(#9) Mother Turtle

The stars bow before the moon,
They dare not glitter as brightly
When the pale yellow pearl emerges from the clouds
Pouring light onto the waters
A path to shore,
Where crashing waves arrive and back down-
The sea worships the sand.

In the tranquility of the cold air,
She rolled out her own majestic carpet in the sand
And began to build a temple for her kind.

Forty eyes peeled the shadows
(Forty eyes sacrificing forty winks.)
Standing in a distance,
In reverence,
The night sky solemn and patient.
The sound of the frothy waves cloak our whisper.

The difference was apparent-
The moon replaced the one bright star,
The sand replaced the stable,
And the wise men and shepherds
Grew into a long line of mortals.
We watched her lay
A hundred and nineteen.
We had no gifts to offer them but
Protection and shelter from harm.

The moonlight painted
The markings on the measuring tapes
Pulled gently over her majestic green shell.
She does not notice all this.
For her soul meditates far up with the stars
Until her treasure was buried away.

When it was all good,
She ambled to the sea which split
As the waves began to swallow her back.
She disappeared into the black waters.

The beach is her kingdom and birthplace-
She will return again.


For the endangered turtle that put in so much effort,
Thank you for inspiring me.

(#14) Solo

Be alone,
Sit, isolated.
Throne-head,
You are the corner stone
In a shared dimension.
What an irony,

Nobody respects such significance
In this world.
So just leave it alone
To whine,
And we mock,
And we watch him
Cry,

"I tried, I did try
To make things better
I talked to you, I thought you'd understand.
Your ignorance carries no weight.
Look, see,
Feel, think?
Understand."

Three gone-
Two of which are very important.
Passing clouds
Shield me from the sun
But they don't teach me
How to build a shelter
After the wind blows them away.

Then the rain pours
Let it rain, oh, let it rain.
I like it, why?

When droplets and darkness pelt my face
You can't tell that I'm
Crying before your eyes.

(#17) The Trial

What have you done, speak!
On who's laws and grounds did you
Commit your atrocities-
Comply, criminal, do you not know
I have the power to forget your sins

To free you of your crime-
All I require you to do
Is whatever I tell you to but
Do it in the misty mornings
Or in the fogged dusk.

Stop, oh good sir,
Do you happen to have some gold
Or anything burnished?
Do not tell anyone about this transaction, criminal.
My law upon you could be a frequent magpie.

I could scourge you, I could hang you.
Of course, I could set you free.
Why would I, tell me, what do I gain from
Letting go?
I am the court, kindness is not valued in my system

I remove the blindfolds off Justicia, so I may now see
The winds sway my scales.
I have power, fellow friend. Your life is in my hands.
There's no reason why I should untie your leash.
I will not forget, I hold on to this for my benefit.

Lady, your name is not Justicia, you be Nemesis,
You wield your double-edged sword,
I pray you realise whilst you cover one edge with the blood of others,
The other end stains your own. Continue holding the blade, I dare you.
I find no reason to entertain your court.

(#16) Synecdoche

My words will not fall on
Deaf ears, no
Not when I write them

My words hold true a story
A unique fraction, a passing second-
It will not return again.

I freeze my memories into words
Three lines a stanza? They grow just as I want them to
I give my language my life.

Poetry amplifies meanings-
Visual, auditory, tactile qualities.
What you need is

A Pensive, the worded variant,
The sanctuary of time past, the ethereal vibrancy
Our lives that slip past our fingers unnoticed. Tick-tock-tick-tock.

Poetry is the small stone I pick from the mountain top
And hurl down at the sea below.
The ripples, the ripples

It makes great difference to the masses of fish.
A little part of me, I donate in literature
For everyone to partake of.

Just a scratch taken from my life, poetry-
It is more than just a representation of me.
It defines me. I am my own ambassador, whilst

Nobody will be my Caesar except myself.
So peace ho, hear me,
"Friends, Romans, countrymen: lend me your ears."



For apostropheundone.blospot.com